- Other parents I know track their children's cell phones, but I have chosen not to track my teenage son.
- I hope this leeway will help him build independence and be better prepared for college.
- I sometimes worry about his whereabouts, but I trust him.
help teens Transforming into an adult is the most important task of parenthood, and it is fraught with anxiety and concern. We want our children to grow up happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. They need guardrails and guidance, but how much independence should we give them?
This is a difficult question, especially when it comes to tracking teenagers. Whether it's Life360, Find My, or Google Maps, technology has given millions of parents (including my best friend) instant access to their child's location. Additionally, many of her Gen Z Benefits of parental supervision.
But I decided not to track high school senior Even when you're out and about, even when you're behind the wheel..
freedom is good for growth
I believe part of being a teenager is learning how to manage yourself. The truth is, no one can learn that skill without some spare time.
I grew up in the 1980s in an almost wild state.I knew I was roaming freely with my friends. latch key routine, almost frequently risking life and limb and passing relatively unscathed. Today's teenagers don't have that luxury. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I want my kids to have a little bit of the freedom that I enjoyed. That means I don't have to be available to his business 24/7 via a tracking app.
This independence fosters my son's sense of independence. He needs to make his own decisions and I need to give him space to make decisions. My concerns about his whereabouts are mine to manage, not his.
I'm not naive. I know my son doesn't always make the right decisions. But my refusal to constantly monitor him allowed him to make his own mistakes and work through them on his own. To do so requires distance, both literally and figuratively.
I want to be clear that my son's safety is of the utmost importance and I will always be here for him in case of an emergency or otherwise. But he can decide if and when that happens. I am a safety net, not a SWAT helicopter.he doesn't need his stuff mom takes care of everything he spends the day.
This will be great preparation for when he goes to college
My son will go to university in the fall. And 36% of parents of college students are still keeping track of their college students, according to a new study. placeWhen my nest is empty, I won't adopt a “big mother” stance.
From my perspective, college is a place where kids can learn, develop themselves, and have fun independently. husband and me We have done everything we can to prepare our children for the next exciting stage in their lives. He will enjoy it independently without me checking to see if he attended class or snooping around on his weekend whereabouts..
It's nerve-wracking, but it's worth it
It's natural to worry about your children. I wonder what my son does when he's not around, and I don't want him to have to suffer. But he would. That's life. That's how you learn.
What my son has gained by choosing not to use tracking apps far outweighs what I have lost.his Self-enlightenment It’s much more important than my insecurities.
You need to learn how to let go of that anxiety. I don't always need to know where he is, but he always knows where I am if I need him.
It helps if you can trust your child. We get along very well and have a lot of fun talking. He knows he can turn to me and his father if he needs counseling or advice. We believe he will make good choices. He never once gave us a reason not to trust him.
Imposing high-tech surveillance and oversight could well undermine the mutual trust we have spent 17 years building. The fact that we decided not to pursue him tells his son that we trust him and builds a strong foundation for our relationship now and moving forward.