He said
by Nick Levesky
He said, she said back, and I would like to thank everyone who sent me Christmas cards during the holidays to wish me a happy holiday. I also received some death threats, but to be honest, they weren't very good.
Nevertheless, it's time to start this semester with bumps, bumps, screws, and bones.
Now, sex is the only reason I came to college. Sure, education is great, but seriously, am I a communications major? I will be unemployed for a very long time.
In fact, sex is the reason most men come to college. There are community colleges in every town in the United States, but you can't exactly throw a game at her 45-year-old woman with her husband and her three children.
So we go to college for endless sex. And then we run into the issue of women.
You women hold on to sex as if it were a weapon of mass destruction, and you will only use it when all the forces are in place.
Well, there was a time when sex was sacred to women. Then I dropped flowers in the back seat of my Chevy station wagon on prom night, so sex wasn't so sacred anymore.
And somewhere along the way, because they attend a school where the ratio of boys to girls is overwhelmingly favorable, women come up with the idea that all men want is sex.
Sure, we want sex, but we're not going to jump through hoops to get it. Maybe if the hoop was on fire it would be really cool and girls would probably dig it and find us more attractive.
So when you meet one guy, you find out there are 3,000 other people just like him. You make him go out of his way to prove that he is different.
Meanwhile, you're checking “when to have sex with men.” You look at the chart and realize that he meets all your little qualifications. For example, “I wear nice shoes every day.”
You're finally ready to sleep with him and you can't wait. Everything will be perfect.
But guess what? he doesn't like you anymore. Maybe it's because you brought a clipboard and checklist to dinner and took some notes when he started speaking with his mouth full.
Perhaps it's because you nervously think that sex is a turning point in a relationship, when today it has no meaning at all. If a guy can't get sex from one girl, Walter Cronkite, I have breaking news for you. He will get sex from someone else.
Women, you should stop thinking of yourself as attractive. Because in reality, you're just a dime a dozen. Try focusing your efforts on something more beneficial, such as your personality.
Think about why men use you just for sex, and how that might affect why you are so bitter towards men.
Whatever it is, stop complaining about it. That's never going to change, and men aren't going to change to accommodate you.
It's human nature. Get over it.
she said
by Britney Cason
I'm tired of girls who sleep with guys as soon as they meet and then wonder, “Why doesn't he call me?”
Now, shall I explain?
If you find that rare guy you're willing to date, the worst thing you can do is sleep with him.
Humans aren't actually dogs. If you give a dog a bone, he will love you forever. When you give a person a bone (pun intended), he takes it and then goes to ask someone else for another bone.
Think about sex in terms of books. When the reader reaches a climax in the preface, he or she puts the book down and searches for another book in the library.
A book worth reading offers the reader several interesting chapters before the climax. Keep them reading even though most men hate reading anything.
Don't men consider the simple girl they brought home from the downtown area to be their girlfriend? They want women.
Men's attention spans are short, and if you don't give him the time or reason to build an emotional attraction towards you and give up after just a few dates, he will inevitably become greener. They will move to pasture. Yes, because the grass is always greener.
Prove your worth and let him prove that he's not just selling you a dream of honesty and integrity. Is selling dreams a man's game? Let's make wearing a chastity belt ours.
Practice abstinence. That's the only rule of our game. Let him prove that his interests extend beyond the fact that he really likes your thick thighs. If he doesn't look for your intelligence, talent, kindness, good company, big heart and get into it, then he's not worth your time and body.
So before he overestimates your flirtatiousness or sexiness, tell him this. “No, I'm not a virgin.” That doesn't mean I'm having sex with you.
Men are notorious for selling dreams, especially if they're afraid to turn them into cash. That's why you shouldn't convert it into cash too quickly. He may just be a greedy used car salesman. He doesn't let his Cadillac fool him into believing he is an Escalade, even though it is actually a used Hyundai.
Recently I was sold what was supposed to be a Hummer (the best car), but just before I was about to cash out and get ready to sign the contract, it was repossessed and I got burned. Good thing I followed the rules of the game, but if I didn't I would have felt even stupider and actually still cared.
On the other hand, if you know that nothing serious will ever happen to your son, then go ahead and do what you have to do. Always try to stay ahead of the game.
If you are a naturally sexual person who feels secure and responsible, then do what you have to do. Because, in the famous words of Britney Spears, “Sometimes that's what boys and girls need.”
But the game works. I am living proof. One of the biggest playboys this town had ever seen had the audacity to tell me he had a manly sense of fun.
Ironically, I took it as a compliment, thinking that all I did to deserve that comment was act feminine and respect myself.