On January 1st, many people around the world hesitated to open Instagram. They were afraid of being bombarded with images of the perfect New Year's Eve party with a lavish budget and glamorous, fun-loving friends. Jumping onto social media that day meant risking a kind of retrospective FOMO that overshadowed our own pale celebrations and washed away memories like a tidal wave. Even people who had never logged in felt strong dissatisfaction and sadness.
If you can relate to this story, you may have experienced “Perfect Moment” syndrome. This is a recently popular concept that attempts to capture the feeling of disappointment when our life experiences (events, parties, vacations) fail to live up to our high expectations. People who suffer from this syndrome tend to focus on negative details, such as candles on a cake that won't light, a cloudy sky, or weak party decorations. As a result, they often feel dissatisfied and have a hard time enjoying the moment.
Barbara Tovar, a psychologist who specializes in anxiety and stress, says, “I think a number of factors are involved in the 'perfect moment' syndrome, but the main one is that social media is a beautiful place, it's a place of envy. “To bombard us with images of momentary, emotionally intense experiences.” She says, “These posts that we view over and over again show us a reality (or an assumed reality) that is very different from our own. You will want to live a life that is like that.”
Comparison is often cited as a major threat to mental health during times like these. It's nearly impossible not to be influenced by the seemingly perfect lives portrayed on Instagram, TikTok, and more. Our own lives may seem boring and empty in comparison. “It's because our culture tends to associate happiness with external things rather than internal things like feeling loved, having a good laugh, or just being at peace with yourself. ,” Tovar said.
Psychologist Laura Esquinas said, “I think this problem is closely related to what family therapist Juan Luis Linares calls “the surface where everything is fine.'''' “These families strive to project an image of happiness and well-being, no matter what happens behind closed doors. It's a 'don't air your dirty laundry in public' mentality. That is why I believe that this concept is closely related to the belief that happiness comes from outside, that external happiness is achievable and that it is possible to feel great at any time. ”
Effects of “Perfect Moment” Syndrome
Esquinas says sustained frustration affects the mental health of those who feel that way. “Often they blame themselves for not living the perfect life they want. The pursuit of that perfect moment can then create feelings of inferiority, which can lead to self-harm.”
“Chronic stress issues can also occur,” Tovar says. “It makes you feel tired, off-balance, and feeling like you need to connect with people for more social interaction.” Tovar said the syndrome is a kind of “pessimism factory.” , because we never experience the unattainable perfect moment, creating a vicious cycle in which our minds become accustomed to negativity.
Workaround
“To overcome this feeling, start by reducing your social media use. Constant exposure to perfect situations amplifies feelings of emptiness,” Tovar said. “I encourage people to develop daily habits that satisfy their needs for rest, leisure, laughter, and play. Additionally, mental health strategies such as yoga, meditation, and sports are influenced by external factors. It helps me maintain a positive mood.”
Many studies, including one from the University of Utah, have confirmed that practicing mindfulness can help you cope better with these feelings. Focusing on the present allows you to understand it without dwelling on what could have been. “Mindfulness helps you focus on how you're feeling about what you're doing right now, whether it's eating, showering, or kissing. It's about being in the moment instead of daydreaming.” Tovar said.
Laura Esquinas says, “To reap the benefits of mindfulness, we must change our beliefs and internalize that perfection does not exist. It's beautiful even if it's not perfect. We can influence them by paying attention to what we love and following our passions. But some things make us There's nothing you can do about it. Mindfulness can help you manage your expectations by being aware of each step and moment. Perfection isn't realistic, so when you're frustrated by something unexpected, try to focus on your mind. Fullness is important.”
To control the “perfect moment” syndrome, Esquinas said, “Instead of focusing on the outcome or the future, focus on what you really want to do and what you enjoy.” The idea is to act on and focus on your own wants and needs. ” Well, here are some interesting New Year’s resolutions for 2024.
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