- A report about a rural bachelor in China who can't afford a $70,000 dowry faced backlash on Monday.
- Such bridal prices are many times the annual income of a typical rural worker.
- However, some people on social media say that men who are obsessed with paying large dowries are undesirable as partners.
A report in Chinese state media about a rural man struggling to pay an exorbitant dowry has sparked an online backlash from people who say the single man is out of line.
State media outlet Legal Daily published an article on Monday about the dating lives of three rural men in their early 30s, saying they could no longer keep up with the soaring price of dowry.
The story of the man from Jiangxi province, who Legal Daily gave him the pseudonym Chen Wei, went viral on Weibo, China's version of X.
According to state media, the man “lamented” that his dowry from his hometown had ballooned to about 500,000 yuan (about $70,000), an almost impossible amount for a rural worker.
“RMB 500,000 is a very unrealistic expectation. To put it into perspective, the annual per capita disposable income of rural people in China is about RMB 20,000,” said the National University of Singapore Society. Mu Zhen, professor of academic and anthropology, told Business. insider.
Such a dowry could potentially cost rural families years of savings or push them into debt, Mu said.
But instead of garnering sympathy, the report received harsh reactions on Weibo. Many accounts that list themselves as women in their profiles say men use unobtainable dowries as an excuse for being undesirable as partners.
One top commenter said, “They always discuss the dowry and not what the man is like or how much the bride's family has to pay.”
“Then don't get married. No one will want to marry you if you don't have money,” wrote a blogger who identified herself as a woman.
As of Monday afternoon Beijing time, the topic had been viewed about 32 million times on Weibo, according to data seen by BI.
In China, the groom usually pays a dowry to the bride's family and may also be expected to pay cash for large expenses such as a car or house as a prerequisite.
Some urban couples in China are now attempting what is often referred to as a “naked marriage.” That is, a man marries without first securing a dowry, a car, an apartment, or even a diamond ring. However, in rural areas, the traditional custom of paying brides remains strong, Mu said.
“Dowry expectations have diverged in China, both due to rising costs of living (particularly housing-related) and increased consumerism and individualism,” she says.
People say it's not about dowry.
Chinese authorities, shaken by the rise in dowries, are already concerned about plummeting birth rates and marriage rates in the country. States often discourage families from demanding exorbitant engagement contracts to remove new obstacles to marriage.
But on Chinese social media, clinging to the burgeoning dowry expectations is the real problem: Modern women want to marry for love and a stable future, but they don't want to increase marriage rates. The prevailing view is that they are deviating from the fact that they are under pressure.
Essentially, a man who relies on dowry is unlikely to succeed and women should not expect to marry him.
“If you don't believe me, just tell a handsome man to go on a blind date. Even without a dowry, someone will marry him and even give birth to a monkey for him,” one commenter said. The poster wrote: she is a woman
“Now independent urban women live free and self-sufficient lives, while older rural youth want to get married,” another wrote. “The two are not aligned, so there is a serious gap.”
One commenter added, “It doesn't matter if the betrothal is good or not.” “The problem is that you can't find a suitable marriage partner. If it's clear that you don't have a suitable partner, why persist?”
Part of the uproar may stem from repeated messages from local governments that wealthy urban women should return to their home villages to marry rural bachelors. These campaigns sometimes go viral and are even criticized on social media.
Meanwhile, it has become increasingly clear that authorities are concerned about the prevalence of celibacy among rural men, with state media frequently reporting that such single men lead loveless lives. It is featured in Local governments have devised various policies and incentives to encourage marriage in poor areas.
Mu said the gap between Chinese women's expectations of marriage and the expectations placed on them is widening.
“They want a higher quality marriage and are more likely to commit to it when it feels right,” she says. On the other hand, many families in China still expect their wives to be the primary caregiver and homemaker.
In the case of backlash against dowry, she said more women in China are refusing to take responsibility for solving the population problem.
“Increasingly, they don't feel motivated or emotionally or morally right to get married for the sake of marriage, or in this case, to cope with an unbalanced marriage market.” she says.
