Both my sons were isolated from their families, I don't know what I did.

Dear Abby

Lifestyle

by Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Eight years ago, my oldest son, who was a police officer, stopped talking to us. We didn't have any fights or arguments. He just stopped answering our calls and I wasn't allowed to see my grandson. As the years passed, he also became alienated from his sister and brother. Over the next three years, I continued to contact him and his daughter-in-law, who I considered close, but they did not return my calls. Then they moved and I didn't have their new address.

Now, several years later, my youngest son (also a police officer) has done the same thing. One moment he was laughing and talking to us on the phone, then called back and screamed about his ex-wife (who we don't talk to and is fixated on). I never have scorned) and hung up! I called him back and told him how rude it was and what we had been doing. no contact with her. He doesn't answer our calls either.

My oldest son is on steroids and I think my younger son is probably on them now as well. It's been 8 years since I overcame the death of my first son, and my heart is breaking for the baby. Do you keep calling? He doesn't live here in town, but you can go to his house and try to argue with him.

My other two children are also shocked and hurt by their siblings' treatment of us. We have always been good parents. We were a loving family filled with God and fun. I think it's because of the steroids, but I don't know how far I should go. It's like a switch has been flipped in our lives. — Completely dumped in Nevada

Dear Completely Thrown: I feel sorry for you and your husband. If your daughter and second son have been in contact with her youngest brother, you may want to ask what caused this estrangement and intervene. However, there is no guarantee that it will work.

We would like to point out that while some steroids are legal, others can be dangerous and require a doctor's prescription.

Anabolic steroids (prescription drugs sometimes misused by bodybuilders to promote the building of skeletal muscle and improve athletic performance) can cause symptoms such as “roid rage,” a condition in which users become extremely unstable and aggressive. may cause side effects.

If your thoughts about your two sons working in law enforcement are correct, that would be a real shame and could cost them their careers.

Dear Abby: I have a best friend who is like a brother. He has no family and we are his only friends who don't live outside the country.

During the holidays, my friends are always alone. It always bothers me because my family doesn't welcome him to holiday dinners. I want him to celebrate with me and I don't want him to sit alone at my house waiting for us to return.

Is it wrong to spend the holidays with him instead of with a larger family? — Torn Heart of Pennsylvania

Dear Torn Heart: I should have mentioned it. why Your family doesn't want your friends to participate in those celebrations. Whatever the reason, leaving your friends alone will reduce the fun, so consider alternating family-sponsored vacations instead of skipping them altogether.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).