2. Ask for and accept help.
You may have heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Although we as a society are moving far away from collective parenting, this quote still rings true in many ways. Asking for and accepting help, even if it feels difficult, can play an important role in protecting a parent's well-being. Without the help of others, we can become overwhelmed or overextend ourselves, which can negatively impact our health.
If you have trouble asking for or accepting help, here are some strategies you can use to tap into your support system.
Think small. It's common for parents to feel like they're “burdening” others by asking for help. One way to overcome this is to come up with a variety of small tasks that don't feel like big obligations to others. For example, you can ask a neighbor to pick up a variety of items at the grocery store or pick up an order you placed online. Alternatively, you can ask a friend to help you carve out time by taking your child for short walks a few times a week or watching the monitor during naps. Brainstorming potential tasks ahead of time will help you respond and accept when someone offers to help.
Change of perspective. Sometimes we may feel anxious about entrusting someone else to care for our children. Because they may not “raise” their children the same way we do. This can hinder your ability to accept the help you desperately need, focusing on small differences rather than the benefits of receiving support. If someone offers to help care for your child, try to adapt your perspective and practice flexibility. You can tell yourself that even though this person may care for your child differently than you, it's still good and can be helpful. If someone's style of care has affected your child, you can always change your mind.
collective tasks. Asking them to take on caregiving duties themselves may seem like too much of a stretch. However, you can also invite friends, family, and neighbors to help you complete tasks as a team. For example, you can invite your family to help prepare dinner or watch the kids while you prepare the meal. Or, have someone accompany you while you go out to run errands so you don't have to worry about looking after your kids while you run other errands. Think of some daily tasks that you struggle with on your own and come up with a list of people who might be willing to help. Working on things as a team can also help you be more sociable and get support from loved ones outside your family.
