Editor's note: This story contains references to suicide. Information about suicide warning signs and resources for people in crisis can be found at the end of this article.
Actress Ashley Judd came to her first SXSW on Saturday to talk about suicide and her family's experience after the death of her mother, country music star Naomi Judd, nearly two years ago.
Ashley Judd was arrested in April 2022 when she found her mother and cradled her body while sheriff's officers conducted a death investigation and interviewed her four times while recording video with a body camera. It took the audience back to that day.
The footage and photos were later released to the media and published. She describes her mental state as having gone from “high-functioning shock” due to police questioning to the point where she experienced repeated trauma after the details of her mother's death were made public.
“The way she died will live on forever,” she said. Her family has since sued the state of Tennessee and is working to enact a law named after Naomi Judd that aims to protect her privacy after her suicide.
Ashley Judd said her mother's death is still a topic of conversation. How her mother died was recently sensationalized in the headlines with an article about her mother's house being put up for sale. “Her sister went through the incident and was very worried,” Judd said. “My family and my people are still suffering from this disease.”
She wants her mother's legacy to be how she lived, not how she died, Judd said. She told stories about her mother, including her early involvement in artificial intelligence. “You don't know her,” she said.
“She made me believe in fairies,” said Ashley Judd, who kept a pretend alligator named Gillette in her basement when Naomi Judd was a child.
“My mother used to call me Sweet Pea, and it was so soft and smelled so good,” Judd said.
Her mother also had an undiagnosed mental health condition and there was nothing she could do to feel better, making her believe there was no hope, Judd said.
we have to talk about suicide
Judd's panel included Dave Richards, senior vice president of programming at media company Audacy; Rebecca Lewis, Mashable's mental health reporter. Dr. Christine Yu Moutier, Chief Medical Officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention;
“Almost every family is affected by mental illness or suicide,” Moutier said. She said you don't have to have all the answers when having these conversations, just listen and invite them into the conversation.
“This conversation is extremely important,” Richards said. Mr. Richards, a former Seattle radio program producer, has seen a pattern of suicides, starting with Nirvana's Kurt Cobain in 1994, Alice in Chains' Layne Staley in 2002, and Soundgarden's Chris Cornell in 2017. Noticed. “There was something going on there,” Richards said. “We need to talk about it. We need to know how we feel.”
Richards organized the “I'm Listening” radio event, first locally and then nationally, to get people to talk about their experiences with suicide.
Language matters in how we talk about suicide
Both Moutier and Lewis called on media and entertainment companies to change the way they talk about suicide. it's a mental illness. Just as you would not say that someone had cancer, you should not say that the person committed suicide or that their suicide attempt was unsuccessful or successful. “That sounds unpleasant,” Moutier said.
Moutier pointed to research showing a spike in suicides after the death of a celebrity. Moutier said it increased for Robin Williams and Marilyn Monroe, but decreased for Kurt Cobain because his partner Courtney Love talked about the loss and didn't glamorize it. The media also reported this as a tragedy, including access to crisis hotlines.
What stories about suicide are we missing?
Moutier said that well-written suicide coverage can help prevent suicide.
She says people who survive suicide or mental illness and receive treatment don't become part of the story. Moutier advocates inviting people to share their stories and using resources to present positive stories.
Ashley Judd is one of them. Her and her mother's stories have similar trajectories. Both experienced sexual abuse as children. Both dealt with mental health diagnoses. “I lived with suicidal thoughts as a child,” she said.
She went to a treatment center in 1996 to deal with unresolved childhood trauma. She continues her evidence-based treatments, including EMDR, twice a week for four months after her mother's death. In her Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, she uses eye movement exercises while talking about trauma to reprogram the brain.
“Life is full and rich,” she said. She knows that her mother was proud of the treatment she received and the happiness she is experiencing now.
To those walking with a mentally ill or suicidal loved one, she says: She said, “You should take care of yourself, and self-care is a way of life.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text the 24-hour Integral Care Line at 741-741 please.
