I had a baby in 2021 and quickly learned how the costs of raising and raising a child can add up.
My husband and I had been saving for months to take unpaid maternity leave. I kept working even after my water broke because I needed every penny. It felt like a dream come true to have a career that I'm proud of and to finally welcome a child into our lives.
But I didn't realize how difficult it actually would be.
My husband quit his job because I was on unpaid maternity leave and my health insurance was a huge burden. Already dependent on her WIC, the federal food assistance program for women, infants, and children, we were forced to go to food pantries, apply for Medicaid, and be referred to diaper banks. We were in survival mode, exhausted, stressed, and worried.
More than two years later, I continue to suffer from a number of postpartum complications, and in desperation, I returned to work after only taking seven weeks off.
I wondered. Why doesn't the US have a paid parental leave policy?
Rather, my first and only experience of motherhood was marred by stress and trauma. Time and time again, I've had to choose between my health and my paycheck, and it can feel like a punishment. It didn't matter that I was proudly contributing to my home country during her one-year overseas assignment working in foreign aid.
We found childcare in a loving, high-quality nursery, but tuition continued to rise. Now, the monthly cost is almost double that of the mortgage.In fact, child support exceeds that university tuition fees We live in North Carolina and at least 27 other states. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that tuition fees are going to go up again every six months.
I wondered. Why not invest more in early care and education?
Meanwhile, the crisis that has taken a huge toll on families throughout the pandemic has worsened. Diaper shortages, formula shortages, inflation, and wages that can't keep up. So many people are struggling to get back on their feet and are in desperate need of balance and peace of mind. Due to stress me and her husband separated in her spring of 2023.
I wondered. Would I have been successful with more support?
I have an advanced degree and work as a communications director for a nonprofit organization as a freelancer. After paying for the necessities, there is nothing left, so they get food and supplies from neighbors and friends. As a single mother, I am working hard to make my dreams come true for myself and my baby, dreams that every mother has. I don't want my child to have to deal with the stress and constant reservations of “I can't afford it” like I did when I was a child.
Families desperately need, want, and deserve better. Adopting a child should not be the reason for families to fall into poverty, especially in one of the world's wealthiest countries. Health, quality early learning, and stability should never be sacrificed in exchange for a roof over your head or food. Instead, we need to build solid foundations and generational wealth for our children.
We need federally mandated paid parental and medical leave. Programs like WIC, which helps more than 6 million families, require additional dedicated funding.
And we need to continue expanding the child tax credit. In North Carolina alone, the monthly child tax credits received in 2021 helped 140,000 child families lift themselves out of poverty. Nationally, the credits reduced child poverty by more than 40 percent before Congress allowed the pandemic to expire at the end of 2021.
Congress must invest tax and policy resources into strong support for families. Let's make this country a place where families can thrive and ensure that no parent experiences the financial disaster of having a child.
