Of course, the first thing I did when I left home was to get a half-Siamese kitten who lived to be almost 20 years old, then a Burmese kitten who lived to be 17 years old. When the kids were old enough, i.e. 10 and 13, we got chocolates. A research puppy, as much for me as for them. The children grew up and left, but Hershey remained. She was my first dog and my best friend without her husband or partner.
Over the past few years, six more cats and two more dogs have been born. They are Watson, a 6-month-old black Labrador, and Raylan, a yellow shepherd mix who came in with clear skin after being bitten with a BB pellet in the leg when he was 4 years old. In case of post-traumatic stress. Through patience and love, Ray transformed from a scared, defensive lost child to a devoted and trusted companion.
Currently, I live with Watson, who is 10 years old. He is the king of fetch and the motherfucker who follows me everywhere. Chloe (age 15) is a long-haired Maine Coon cat who loves dogs more than other cats. And Zassie, 10, is a gray and black tabby dog who is obsessed with food and my socks. All of them are a relief.
After having a childhood without a pet, it was predictable that I would end up owning an animal. What surprised me was the strength of my feelings for them and how much my relationship with them ended up determining my life.
When Hershey was diagnosed with untreatable advanced cancer at age 13 and I had to let her go, I was paralyzed with grief and guilt (did I do the right thing?). Ta. Similarly, I was torn apart after Raylan, then 12 years old, and my two cats, Max and 15-year-old Leo, who were almost 18 years old, also developed cancer and recently passed away in a short period of time. . Today I have intermittent anxiety about Watson, Chloe, and Zassie. The scientific term for this is anticipatory grief.
Social media is full of personal stories about the bond between animals and humans, especially about how difficult it is to say goodbye. Our relationships with our pets are often just as strong, if not stronger, than our relationships with humans, and far less complex. This may explain our deep connection with them.
Margie Alonso, former executive director of the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants, said, “Pets are often the first people you care about when you leave your childhood home, when you live alone, when your children leave home, when you go through a breakup.'' “They may even be chosen as their family, or their only family.” and the IAABC Foundation. “Our pets give us a sense of stability and stability that humans don’t have.”
Researchers sometimes use attachment theory to explain the bonding relationship between humans and pets. This theory holds that humans have an innate desire to bond with their caregivers, usually their mothers. “For many pet owners, the attachment relationships we form are emotionally close and similar in intensity to human attachments,” says Michael Meehan, senior lecturer in veterinary medicine at Massey University in New Zealand. “Our pets exhibit similar attachment behaviors toward us.”
Sandra McCune, a visiting professor of human-animal interaction in the School of Psychology and Life Sciences at the University of Lincoln in the UK, agrees. “Companion animals may have hijacked our innate desire to form attachments,” she says. “They rely on us like children who never grow up.”
My companion animal sets the rhythm for my day and night. That means going for walks and runs with Watson, staying glued to tennis balls, making sure Chloe gets her medication on time, and making sure Zacie gets the special diet she needs to prevent a urinary blockage. It's not just about doing things.
It's also the sweetest moment. Watson snuggles warmly against my back as I sleep, Chloe starting on my stomach and moving into the crook of my arm as I shift. Zassie is still wary of dogs and she stays downstairs for the night, but she waits at the bottom of the stairs and demands breakfast as soon as she hears us making noise.
“Pets tend to be the same through good days and bad, and in our relationship with them they are definitely ourselves and ours,” says Alonso. “Their own needs and desires are centered around food, abundance, and care, and they are more focused on us than on, 'Will I get promoted?'” “Did you forget our anniversary?” or “What do you want for dinner?” ”
Emily Bray, an assistant professor of human-animal interaction at the University of Arizona College of Veterinary Medicine, agrees. “When they're paying attention to us, you have their full attention. They're not texting on their cell phone,” she says.
My kids now have their own lives, their own cats, and are making their own decisions. But we need to make choices for our pets, even if it's not easy. “Pet owners must decide when it is time for euthanasia. Euthanasia often complicates grief and is not often present in conjunction with human death,” says Pet Grief Counselor. But Mr. Meehan says: “Unlike the death of a human, there are no traditional rituals or procedures for memorializing a pet.”
McCune calls anticipatory grief a normal reaction to the prospect of loss. “It's part of the love you have for them,” she says. “Enjoy it while you have it, make and preserve travel memories. Have a very special dog or cat that will steal your heart, always be in your life, and change your life.” Masu.”
That was true for me and, as it turns out, it was true for my parents as well. Many years after my siblings and I left home, my sister-in-law gave my parents, who were in their 70s at the time, our first dog, a cocker spaniel puppy.
Working too much? perhaps. But they were so into it that they cared.
