The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not reflect the views of her campus.
This article was written by a student writer from her campus chapter of TCNJ.
“Let Them Theory” has over 15 million views and has been trending across social media in recent weeks. This theory was originally created by researcher and author Mel Robbins, who provides research-backed advice that has helped hundreds of people overcome toxic relationships that we've all experienced.
“If your friends won't invite you to brunch this weekend, ask them out. If the person you're really attracted to isn't interested in a committed relationship, let them be.”
– Mel Robbins
Basically, the key is to stop forcing others to do what you want them to do. Often times, we come to terms with how we want everything to work in relationships, situations, and even friendships, and inevitably try to control what is out of our hands. It is almost impossible to find someone who meets all of our expectations, and believing in that possibility can lead to creating big dreams and ideas that are unrealistic and can lead to disappointment in the long run. Masu.
Mel says that if you're in a friendship or relationship and the person you've formed a bond with doesn't turn out the way you want them to, don't get upset or try to force them into doing something impossible. Don't, I insist. Because while it may feel hurt at first, you'll soon come to realize that by letting you down, they're actually revealing their true self to you, and that's why in this situation Because it helps you choose what to do next.
This theory can go deep into your life beyond simple relationships. Many of us tend to get emotional over even the smallest issue, like not getting a text returned or not seeing a comment under a post. After all, it's not worth the time and energy. The main problem that many people have is that they develop a false and unrealistic image of relationships, so that we fall in love with the potential of what could be rather than the actual relationship. That's what happens. Rather, we get so distracted by this unrealistic possibility that we spend so much time trying to mold that person to fit the mold we've created in our heads that we realize how harmful it actually is. I don't know what it is.
IMO: At first I was skeptical of this theory and thought it was just some kind of trending TikTok by a group of people trying to make a point on their podcast. But after watching enough of Mel Robbins' YouTube videos of her explaining this theory and how she got to that point in her life, my opinion has changed a lot. Specifically, in one part of the video, she introduces a visual described by Dr. Amy Johnson, saying, “Whenever you go into control mode, you imagine yourself in a tiny little boat, heading upstream against the current.'' “Imagine rowing on a bicycle.” When you get to the point where you're fighting reality and trying to control everything, instead of stuffing your emotions and trying to resist reality, just surrender and say, “Let go of the oars, turn the boat around, and let it drift downstream.'' Sho”. An obsessive control freak since childhood, I have always wanted everything to be perfect, especially relationships and friendships. But I think I've definitely reached a point where I realize that in the long run it's actually more harmful and hurts myself, and I should instead just let everything take its natural course.
Finally, I hope we all apply this to our lives and welcome 2024 as a new chapter without holding anything back.
