Dear Dr. Fox: Our family recently lost our 16-year-old cat, Blinky. This was difficult enough, but it was made even more difficult by the fact that our other cat, Ford, saw Blinky as a parental figure.
When Ford was still a kitten, he was “adopted” by my old tabby, Shakespeare. Ford adored Shakes, following him all over the house, curling up with him, and often lying on top of him. Shakes cleaned Ford, played with him gently, and watched him while he played with the other cats.
After Shakes' death 14 years ago, Ford grieved for nearly a decade. Ms. Ford groomed him so much that she clipped his fur with her teeth, to the point where most of his belly and legs were bald and many painful spots appeared. Dermatologists have had little success using drugs to change this behavior.
About a year after Shakes passed away, Blinky came to our house. Blinky had a striking resemblance to Shakes. For Ford, it was as if his “father” (now a woman) had returned. But Blinky had years of trauma to overcome, which made him aloof.
Ford made several attempts to get closer to Blinky. After nearly a decade, she accepted his attention, snuggled up to him, and gracefully let him clean. For the first time in years, Ford has stopped its frequent over-grooming routine.
Let's fast forward to now. Blinky died two days ago. Since it happened at a veterinary hospital and Mr. Ford never had a chance to see her body, we can only imagine that Mr. Ford believes she just went missing.
We are worried about Ford, who is now 14 years old. He has a younger sister and another adopted sister, but Blinky, who was his rock in many ways, is gone. How do we support him as he grieves? We are worried that he will fall back into his old self-destructive habits. –EL, Takoma Park, Maryland
Dear Elle: I believe your veterinarian tried giving you Ford Gabapentin, which is a wonder drug for many cats. If the first dose you try is ineffective, it may be worth trying a higher dose. Alternatively, some cats may be able to escape their sadness by consuming Actinidia nightly, but not all cats respond to this herb.
I will definitely continue to feed Ford wet/canned cat food. Feeding them dry pellets can cause problems with fur being swallowed and lodged in their stomachs if you groom them too much. Adding a few drops of olive oil to your meals may solve this problem.
If he starts to develop “trichotillomania” I will give him 1mg of melatonin in the evening and 50mg of L-theanine at bedtime and around noon. Start with just one or two tablets and crush the tablets into his meals. Try these natural biological products for him for 3-4 weeks and continue as needed.
If none of these drugs are effective, stop using the drug and consult your veterinarian about using psychotropic medications. My first choice for cats is fluoxetine, but it is very bitter and very difficult to get cats to take. (That's why many veterinarians use gabapentin by default.)
Alprazolam is also something to consider. Although it works much faster than fluoxetine, ataxia (loss of balance) is often seen initially, which can be painful. I would start with half a 0.25 mg tablet to make sure there are no side effects. The dose of alprazolam can be further increased if necessary.
You can try wrapping the Ford tightly in a toddler T-shirt and securing it with Velcro or tape. I like to call this a “grief lap,'' similar to a “thunder lap,'' which helps dogs who are afraid of storms or fireworks. This will also make it more difficult for Ford to over-groom it.
Frans de Waal: A person who has made significant contributions to our understanding of ourselves and other animals.
I was deeply saddened to hear the news that world-renowned primate behaviorist and evolutionary biologist Frans de Waal has passed away at the age of 75. He did much to overturn his view that ascribing human-like emotions to non-human animals was unscientific anthropomorphism. Rather, he emphasized the many characteristics we share with other primates.
One statement in his obituary posted on Animals24-7.org particularly stood out to me. “Civilization is not an external force; it is us,” de Waal said. “…social life is a big part of our primate background, as is cooperation, bonding, and empathy, because group living is our primary survival strategy.”
Indeed, we are not the only ones capable of cooperation, bonding, and empathy. However, we have not yet evolved the ability to respect people outside of our immediate group, and this exclusion of others can lead to hatred, racism, slavery, and war.
Our condolences go out to Mr. de Waal's family and everyone who knew him.
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