Dear Abby: I am dating a man who is nine years younger than me. He is a musician who plays bass guitar in several bands. I'm retired. I love going out dancing with him and socializing with other friends. I met him a year and a half ago at a social club. He works at a fast food restaurant on weekdays. On weekends, he goes to gigs with his band. He has been married four times. (I have only been married once.)
My problem is that he has no money at all. He always has trouble paying his bills. I've invested in this relationship with concert tickets, hotels, etc., but he only gives money once in a while. I haven't received any presents from him on his birthday or Christmas. Of course I gave them both.
I think he's cheap. I feel sorry for him because he doesn't have his own place when he grows up. I have walked away from him several times because I know he won't change. I need to move on. please let me know. — Always hoping for more
For those of you who are always hopeful: The question you must answer for yourself is how much “entertainment tax” are you willing to pay for the entertainment of this wandering bard's company? You pay for his and your entertainment because it's part of your “unspoken contract” and he expects it too.
This four-time married man chose a job he loves, but one that is notorious for not paying well. you know who he is. Have you talked to him about your feelings on this matter? If you haven't done so yet, do it now. If you don't like this arrangement anymore, move on.
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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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